2,000+ miles, 6 days, 1 person.
To begin my last Ei term, I drove from Austin, Texas to Santa Monica, California through the Southwest desert lands by way of Laredo, TX, back to Austin, TX to Lubbock, TX to Albuquerque, NM and through Sedona, AZ. This trip provided a beautiful time to reflect, let go of the past and create space for an amazing summer at SapientNitro. On the way, I was blessed to see familiar faces, share long calls with great friends, and fall in love with the desert.
On the last day, I drove 500 miles straight through the Mojave Desert. It’s interesting what happens when you willingly spend over 7 hours alone, confined in a moving vehicle, driving through the desert with nowhere to go but forward. My mind filled up the vast expanses of space with a mixture of emotions. I became vulnerable to the loving memories, anxieties, hopes, dreams, fears and doubts that bubbled up to the surface. What am I going to do after Ei? What projects am I going to work on this term? What am I doing?! With no distractions to latch on to, I felt like my mind was spinning out of control.
This is where I realized that every once in a while the universe provides you with one of these painfully beautiful moments that forces you to surrender. It’s truly a gift–an opportunity to grow. Your mind can be your own worst enemy, but it can also be the most powerful tool you have. Using a meditation technique I recently learned, I took a step back to see the bigger picture, to view each thought as a leaf flowing down a river, in sight one moment and out of sight the next. When you remove yourself from the trenches of your thoughts, you can start to see patterns and identify the true causes of your troubles.
There’s no doubt that I am more comfortable with uncertainty than when I first began this journey, but sometimes it’s necessary to check in with myself and re-adjust my attitude. Instead of fretting about the future, I’ve begun to appreciate just being present in the moment. I’m learning to trust that the universe will support me in the future if I do my best right now. I have to remind myself of all the things I’ve done that I never thought I could do and trust that everything will work out. Enjoy surrendering to the right timing, to everything that is unfolding perfectly and just the way it should. Change your mindset; change the world.